Today we had a huge downing house picnic and got to put the name of a lot of people that I've heard of with their faces. Then I went to city park to meet my old PT and hear "Jazz in the park". I used to be an off the charts extrovert, and now- people just tax me and take energy that I don't have. That totally didn't used to be me, and it's hard for me to say "I need to go home and go to bed" because I want to be with the people- I just don't have the mental energy to be there with them anymore. That feels selfish to me, especially since I'm going to school for counseling but I've been realizing, if I'm not healthy and putting me first- then I won't be able to concentrate on my clients or their issues, so in a back-handed sort of way, it's for my career as a helping professional to learn to take care of me as I journey through school. Friends of mine have asked- is this 'fatigue' thing new? No, I think it's been there since the stroke, but I'm just learning the words to put with the feeling. For so many years I just pushed through my migraine pain because of school or whatever, but I'm learning to live with a brain injury is totally different, and as I get this degree, I not only want to apply the classroom learning but the life learning that comes along with it to how I live out my personal life. So, no, it's not new, I'm just learning to put the words that I've been learning about into practice in my own life. The fancy term for it is 'self-care', and that's never been something I've been good at, but it's something I want to get better at. So taking a lighter load with courses and really applying myself in my courses is important for me. And those are my thoughts for this evening. And I'm going to apply this to my life by going to bed now! :)
Love,
Amy Christine
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