Stupid Memory

I am crying as I type this. Emotional breakdown doesn't begin to touch how I'm feeling. When you have two brain surgeries and they remove parts of your cerebellum and frontal lobe (yes, they were dead), I'm left from the stroke with cognitive impairments that I will never get back. They have gotten much better. I used to not remember AT ALL what I had done that day or peoples names that I had just met. Now I CAN, which is amazing and such an accomplishment. As I have worked at the country club (which is VERY memory driven), it has been AWESOME to be able to recall "oh, that is Mr. ----, he was in here last x and had a ___ and sat at 302."

I've needed this letter for loan deferments to prove that I am getting public assistance (SSDI), and I got a letter from them a few weeks ago which showed this. I remember opening the letter and saying to myself "file this, it is important". Unfortunately, I've torn my room apart, and letter is still missing in action. If I could even express how frustrating that is and what that does to have to email someone any say "Yup, Hi, I'm incompetent, lost it, can I get another please?" I know it's just a piece of paper, but one that shows to the loan people the documentation that they are looking for... between the loan people and SSDI/SSI, both have been incredibly not helpful the last few years and I'm surprised I'm not fully gray from dealing with them. No wonder I have had migraine headaches. Both have been necessary "evils" in my life, but if I haven't had to deal with them, I would not have by choice. So I emailed the woman back today and told her that I've looked everywhere and still cannot find it, and how do I go about getting another copy. It might mean sitting on the phone for a few hours with Social Security, my favorite. And this has become my life post-stroke- oh the joys of being independent, right?! Sigh! Lord, if the stroke was in your will, that's fine, but can you just have some grace and help me keep these daily things in order please, because I really hate having to email people or tell them that I've lost what they have given or entrusted to me. I've accepted that the stroke is a part of my story now and learned how to incorporate that into my story, so help me learn memory techniques too. This can only get worse with age, having children, and time from what others tell me, so prepare me Father for what's to come.
Love,
Amy Christine

Colorado bucket list

So, I'm intentional and a planner. When I've taken the Myer's-Briggs Personality Inventory, I always come out as a strong "J", which also means planner (my father even types up his to-do list. It's genetic.) Anyways, so I've mentioned a few times that there are places west of the Mississippi that I have to see, especially while I am a resident of this fabulous state. I have my friends Allison, Angela, and Dan to thank for some the contributions to this list being Colorado Natives ;) Here are some of the items on the list (and I love that in most of the places I want to go visit, I have a friend or two there as well, so it becomes a double whamie, seeing a fun place and catching up with great people too!) :

- White water rafting (I've been before, but absolutely love it!)
- Red Rocks Concert (I went there for Easter Service this year, but still want to experience a concert yet)
- Steamboat Springs to visit my friend Julie
- Grand Junction to see my childhood friend Elizabeth
- Sand Dunes (apparently with a metal sled)
- Mesa Verde
- Royal Gorge
- Alpine Slide at Heritage Square
- Jack Quinn Pub in Colorado Springs on a Thursday night to hear Irish songs
- Hike a 14'eer
- Lakeside amusement park
- Wildflower hike (Crested Butte or Aspen)
- Sherpa House in Golden
- Moab, Utah
- Jackson Hole & Cheyenne, Wyoming
- San Juan Skyway Drive with Danny
- Cave of the Winds
- Waterton Canyon
- Manitou Springs
- Camping (tent and all, think I'm going in July maybe to South Dakota)
- Black Canyon of the Gunnison and the Gunnison Valley (my roommate Meg is from Gunnison and says it's picturesque and I must go with her to see it!)
- International evenings of dance in Vail
- Botanical Gardens (I've posted a few pictures and it is gorgeous and I'm planning on going there many more times!)
- Denver Zoo

So there is some of the list and is is by no means exhaustive or finished. I think I may have a special color of highlighter for my calendar of things for this list, but either way, I'm excited to get started on getting to see these sights and experience these things! YAY for good times with great people ahead! :)
Love,
Amy Christine