I love my job!

I just may be privileged enough to have one of the best jobs out there. Something I had KNOWN would be out there, and after what I would consider way too much time, pain, searching and waiting FOR OVER FOUR YEARS, I am now an Youth Advocate for youth with disabilities at a Non-Profit here in Indianapolis called accessABILITY. There are many days when I still have to make sure that this is actually reality and pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. I get the opportunity to advocate and teach people under 25 life skills- anything from cooking to finding a job. This could be becoming more independent within their own home with their parents (most likely) or possibly assisting someone in college or just finishing high school find accessible housing, a job, etc.

I told my executive director this last week that I think that by learning to advocate for others... that I'm actually going to learn to be such a better advocate for myself. That excites me and terrifies me at the same time. My direct boss showed me the curriculum that we will be using with the high school youth, and this is an excerpt:
“I am a unique and special person. I
am doing the best I can. If others put
me down I need to remember that I’m
OK…no matter what anyone else
thinks. I do not have to prove myself to
anyone. If I make a mistake that
doesn’t make me a bad person; it only
proves that I am human. I can make
good decisions for myself and take
responsibility of the results. I am
great.” -Riley Hospital Self Esteem Pledge

Tears welled up in my eyes when I read that statement. I get to FIGHT for others who cannot speak up for themselves or may not know how. I get to teach them, and show them how. But most of it comes by embracing what makes them unique and no one else could do. That's thrilling and terrifying when you stand back and think about it really. I've lived for 30+ years not knowing how to make good boundaries for myself, and since receiving my masters in counseling but then having some terrible things happen to me personally, I've retreated into myself for fear of getting hurt further. But now, with making decisions to getting myself to a healthier place personally in most areas- spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, relationally... I'm trying to remain open to whatever may come. I've hid in fear and pain for far too long, locked behind a door of unknowns caging me in. I was talking at working to someone who even had made the comment "most people just don't get it. But I know that you do. You have really been to the depths and wrestled with some hard questions. You might not have all the answers yet, but you allow people to just sit where they are, while maybe challenging a thought or two, but simply listening to them and their struggles..." If anything, after the past 4 years, I have more questions. I don't have any conclusions- actually they usually detract, distract, and discount what's really going on actually. So my thoughts 4 years later... I'm wiser. I have perseverance. I wouldn't do anything of the last 4 years over per se... but I wouldn't take it away either now. I've become stronger. I couldn't say that about the Amy at 28. So now I get to do my dream job- combining my degree and my personal experience to somehow fight for the rights of others. And we'll see what that actually looks like once I'm out of training in a few weeks :) But I could be happier doing what I love and being on this journey right now!
Love,
Amy Christine