"I can't even tell"

Apparently, I worship a God who is a show-off. I always believed in that truth for others... but doubt it when it comes time to believe it for me. I had one of the best doctors appointments ever this morning. I think I see a doctor for SOMETHING like once a week. That makes me want to vomit. But I digress. I have been waiting to see this particular new neurologist for 8 MONTHS. Talk about anticipation. He showed me the scans I had on file from the Stroke (2009) and from this fall (2012) and although you can still see the stroke's effect on my cerebellum in both hemisphere's, he was amazed that it was the same person sitting next to him in his office. He told me that someone with a scan like that, with that kind of damage, SHOULD BE IN A WHEELCHAIR. He even made the comment to the resident intern in the room with us "I really can't tell by her gait (walk) that there was ANY NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE". Um, what? I've been told for 4 years that I'm NOT NORMAL, and you're now implying that I am. Can you tell that to those others doctors who have doubted me please? Please, SHOUT THAT LOUDER.

If you only KNEW the lies and attacks that come with a TBI, migraines, joint pain, these constant headaches- I don't know what a life without pain would even look like. I can't even fathom that. But for you sir, who are a trained professional in this field, to have gone to school and have years of experience in this field, to say that... Tears. Unspeakable Joy. Relief. Not only has my hard work paid off, BUT HE HAS DONE A MIRACLE IN MY LIFE! HE REALLY IS A GOD WHO REDEEMS AND MAKES ALL THINGS NEW!? That isn't just something I can say, but now my life IS A LIVING TESTIMONY OF THAT! For my friends who aren't believers yet, that's fine and I love you, but I can't make sense of some of the things that have happened to me and God has literally done something else entirely with them. The evidence is too clear, and I'm not going to get into a theological debate at all with anyone (for we're all entitled to our own beliefs), but faith in the GOD WHO IS IN THE BUSINESS OF RESTORING ALL THINGS IS WHERE I AM PUTTING MY TRUST! These things don't make sense, even to the medical community. I'm beyond pumped today, to go to work and make coffee- for I have hope again. Hope that there will be a day. And that God is doing something big- in me, through me, and even in spite of me. So keep doing it Lord. I don't like the process but the stunned look from professionals is totally worth it. So keep doing what you do best.

Love, Amy Christine