Some amazing things have fallen into place in very divine ways lately. I'm still unsure of WHY, but I have to believe that there is a reason (or reasons) for me being at Children's Hospital in Highlands Ranch right now. As it opens. Without a background in healthcare at ALL... but simply a desire to learn and to want to be a part of that journey for other kids. When my new co-workers and I have swapped stories, I hear over and over that "I've been trying to get into Children's for 1,3, or 5+ years" and "I applied to 10, 12, even 50 positions before I got this one" and all I can do, with tears held back, is know that I DIDN'T get this job. I was hired off my resume and cover letter. I applied as a formality to get me in the system to be hired once an offer was going to be made. I cannot think of an "earthly" reason for me to get a job in the emergency department admissions... with my master's in counseling... But it's an amazing system to be a part of, I really like several of my co-workers, there are such great benefits, such room for growth, and I'm finally working my way off of the benefits that have been my bread&butter for WAY TOO LONG now. Not that I'm not thankful for what they've done, I'm just tired of living so strapped, and not being able to do much of anything. So to actually go shopping, and begin to pay bills that have been piling up or in forbearance... There are no words. The only one's that come close are "Oh, so this is life!" I've learned to live beyond bare-bone and without most luxuries (although I know I'm incredibly blessed!) but after living that way for almost 5 years... this is a nice change, to actually have a paycheck I could spend on more than just the bare necessities to hardly make it.
I had been praying since even before I got this job (and then all the more-so when I realized I had to be in Highlands Ranch at 6:30, and would have to leave before 5 to catch THREE buses, in the snow, to get there- hopefully on time). I knew that God had opened the doors for me to have this job, and that He was big enough to provide help with transportation there too. So a few weeks ago, I get a call from my friend Alicia, who I had staffed a retreat with a few months prior. This woman is amazing. I digress. "We have an extra mini-van that we have lent out to missionaries on furlough that you could use for awhile. The last people that borrowed it had it for 8 months. No cost." Tears. I couldn't contain my joy for the provision. I don't know WHY I doubt that God will come through in miraculous way... I am a WALKING MIRACLE now... but still. To have that tangible need met when the prayers had been silent... Amazing. I'm almost to my 4 month anniversary of living back in Denver, and in that time I've gotten an awesome opportunity to volunteer at the hospital that I relearned so much at, this great job (even if it still is so overwhelming and leaves me exhausted daily), a private apartment & room, a bed to sleep in that's not an air-mattress, a fantastic new church community to call home, great new friends and re-connecting with friends from my past, this van for awhile and a bus pass through my job, getting to work with Vocational Rehab & Craig Hospital again about job goals and them getting to advocate with me for what I need (it's still really hard to advocate for myself yet- I still feel like a burden with my TBI, although that's getting better daily as I grow more confident)... I'm blessed. He's looking out for me. I still have my good days and bad days, and in my more confident moments I can speak powerful truth and reminders to remember His faithfulness. I'm likely going to get a tattoo (for my 5th anniversary in February) on my wrist that says "Miracle" to remind me again on those days when it's not as clear.
Moving to Denver has been a HUGE leap of faith and lesson in believing. If He says it, He will follow through, Days, decisions, and life won't necessarily be without pain(s). But that doesn't change who God IS. If I call myself a believer, that I need to act like I BELIEVE. A line from a song on the radio recently came on and said something to the effect of "Is the man that I am lining up with the man you want me to be?" That's some soul searching. I have lot's of relationships that are curious about this Hope that I cling to, even in the midst of daily pain and circumstances that I wouldn't wish on anyone. My response is almost always the same. 'How could I not believe after witnessing all that He's done for me?' You don't have to, and that's your choice. However, for me, I've seen too much to not know He's real. And working. And so so good and faithful to me.
Love,
Amy Christine
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