The Memory is RETURNING!

For those of you who may have entered my life recently, all this might be new news to grapple with. For those of you who have been walking with me for years, I have some amazing news to continue to announce. I hadn't said much for awhile partly because I was wondering how long this might last, and that scared me. When you've had something and then it gets taken away, you wonder after when you have ANY glimmer of hope if you're ever going to feel "NORMAL" ever again, or what that NEW NORMAL will look like.

While I was in the hospital, my family and I were told all these crazy things that I've shown the doctors that they were {now} false [see my driving record, going back to GRADUATE school 6 months later, walking my sister down the aisle 5 months to the day of my stroke, every day gaining something back/some functioning that I hadn't had previously and thought I would never get back]. It's been a TRUE JOY to celebrate milestones and victories that you were told "YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN..." or "THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE ANYMORE" and with tears in my eyes DO THEM. It makes things like graduating with your MASTERS DEGREE all the sweeter. Yes, it's an accomplishment and I'm part of a minority to do so. But even more so when you were told that it SHOULDN'T be possible, and yet... I have that diploma framed and it's my profile picture on here to remember how precious it is. My life is SO FAR from anything anyone else could think of as "normal" it is almost laughable. And yet, one of the biggest adjustments post-stroke is dealing with what I had thought my life would look like previously not being the case now, for a multitude of reasons. Earlier this week on facebook I announced that I'm able to remember my dreams at night again, and not just my nightmares. Again, when just a couple short years ago I couldn't remember my breakfast that morning, this is a huge accomplishment to realize for myself.

I've been realizing it for several months, but it's kind of "ironic" that the very things that I can remember in the relationship I'm in are the things that he forgets, and vice versa. Dates, times, bills & deadlines, I can recall those things for both of us now. Even remembering where miscellaneous things are located at his house when I don't live there... And I'm not having to rely on my 2nd brain nearly as much (aka- the color coded calendar in my phone. I can remember details WITHOUT having to look back through texts, emails, etc and remember where we are meeting and what day without having to reference the calendar first to know!) People, this is HUGE. There are lot's of memories still in the "Swiss Cheese" parts of brain that I may never get back, but the ability to recall these silly little details of life again is a pretty big deal. While most people won't understand it, just know it's a big deal for me. And for that, I think I deserve something to celebrate this occurrence in my life :) Yeah for self-care and something to celebrate for me!

With lots of celebratory love,
Amy Christtine