My anniversary...

Today is bitter-sweet. I talked with my BFF on the phone last night, and she thought a better way of putting it instead of "I shouldn't even be here" is: "I'm very grateful to be here"- which both are true. I have so many things to be thankful for, and I'm constantly reminded of that. There have been so many things I have been wrestling with lately. My social-cultural book keeps bringing up people who are disabled and after talking over the events with a friend of mine (who had a stroke in 2004) we both are wrestling now with our own self-concepts and thinking about ourselves as "disabled" (cognitively disabled). My careers professor pointed out yesterday that were all disabled in some capacity or another- it's all on a spectrum. Divorce, illness, homelessness, searching for a job, being in a wheelchair- how are we going to approach the matter as counselors and helping professionals? How is this going to impact how I see or view myself? I went out to dinner a few weeks ago with some good friends, and the husband has had to be more guarded with his time and letting "needy" people suck the life out of him. I resonate with that idea too. Since quitting my job in December, I feel that way as well- everything is harder for me after my TBI and I wish it wasn't. School, reading, writing papers, working, spending time with people- just everything- and I HATE THAT. That shouldn't be what life or this season is about. I'm in school for the helping profession- I want to help people, not be selfish with my time! I just need this season to still be about me and about my healing, and about getting better, because I've been given a second chance, and I want to do well with it after all. There is so much I could complain about but in all reality, I'm thankful to still be here. I got a text this morning from a friend and he said the anniversary should be called "Happy that God has helped me make it through the tough times". Amen indeed. :)