Wrestling

I've been wrestling lately, with a lot of things. I know I picked the right degree to pursue, but I'm not sure that going overseas and working with children who have been trafficked is the best thing for me anymore. With my parents aging and (hopefully) I'll have a family someday, it is hard for me to envision living around the world and raising my family so far away from them. I'm thinking of being some sort of patient liason as they transition back into real life in the community since I've been through it myself. I still have a year of school left, but I'm thinking of moving closer to my family and trying to look in hospital as a rehabilitation counselor maybe. There's a lot that I don't know yet, but the first-hand experience is something you can't argue with.

I love the family I'm living with, but I've realized by living with them that they have A LOT on their plates. I've decided to move yet again. Yes, my 5th move in a year. All of my moves included wise counsel and seemed like the best decision at the time, but I saw a lot more of the negatives once I was there. I'll be moving back to the Downing House and have a single room to myself after I visit my family over Memorial Day in MI and MN, so I'm waiting until June to make the more as to not stress myself out during the school year.

Sheri (the mom of the family I'm staying with) and I have both joked about standing around with a blank look on our faces, thinking of what we were about to do or where to start on the 100 things we needed to accomplish. I wonder if we would have done that before our strokes. We've also had problems getting the internet to work on my computer here, so I'm having to use the family computer. It's forcing me to remember 'what was my username and password' for that account? I've closed a couple of credit cards recently, and it's made me go 'Where was I living when I used that last?'. Talk about rehab for my poor half-working brain?! I'd love to confirm my address for you sir, but I've moved A LOT in the last yesr, so I don't really know.

Something I've also realized lately is that living by a budget SUCKS. Especially when that includes trying to do special diets to see what the *$&# is wrong with your head. I have been at the grocery store or something and went "well, it would be nice to get that, but I can't eat it, or afford it, or___". I made a wish-list if a wealthy man comes my way someday or I end up winning the lottery. One can dream, right? This is the end of week two, and I think I might have to cut out corn syrup this next week because I'm still getting them on this restricted diet. After all the doctor's appointments and tests, I just want some ANSWERS already- this is just plain ridiculous. As much as I don't want to do the corn syrup thing, I just want to eliminate something that has an effect. I know there are a lot of things I can't control like the barometric pressure or my stress, but if it's something I can like tomatoes or something, then I'll eliminate it. Sheri and I just go "OH LIFE". One thing I have definetely realized is that things get more and more complicated as you get older. As much as I wish that wasn't the case, I'm learning the hard way that I can wish and hope, but it won't change reality. So if anyone knows of a man who's single with lot's of money that he wants to give to a poor grad student, let me know! ;) HA!
Love,
Amy Christine