This whole last year has been full of various frustrations, with the medical community just looking at me dumbfounded and not knowing what the *#&%$ is wrong with me; to unreturned phone calls, emails, texts, voice mails, etc. from people that I love dealy; to having every part of your independence stripped away from you and then you're left there to deal with ambiguity and the unknowns without any real support nearby and tangible throughout it all. To say I'm left frustrated in a ambiguous ball of tension with A LOT going on around me is an understatement. Because the doctors don't seem to know what's wrong with me, I'm going to go see a chiropractor (that a friend with Migraine headaches recommended) and a naturalist (a recommendation from my Mentor at school) before I go back to the Midwest over Memorial day.
I'm trying REALLY hard not to become bitter in it all, but I'm left with 100's more questions than answers and really nothing in my life is a given anymore. When you have 5 moves in a year, all of your independence taken away, and no real constants around you besides the unknowns, you start to question everything. To be honest, I'm tired. I'm tired of asking the questions and just getting silence. This last year+ has been one I never, ever, ever want ANYONE to have to go through because it has been so hard. And those are my laments & thoughts today :)
Love,
Amy Christine
Amy, I can't imagine the frustration you feel and have been feeling this past year. God won't let this time go to waste. I will pray that God brings you healing and peace. You are loved and you are a treasure. This time will pass and one day you will be able to have such a ministry to people who are going through what you are going through now. Don't give up. It's a BIG BIG mountain you have been climbing, God will give you the strength to reach the top. Nahum 1:7
ReplyDelete