My "Evangelism" plan...

I had coffee with my friend Lindsay on Friday, and she is becoming a dear friend here in Indianapolis. In College (as a ministry major) I thought I had things all figured out and had an "Evangelism Plan" all mapped out. And then life happened and my idea of God had to radically shift and I found out that the God that I thought that I knew and the plan that I was leading people to didn't quite fit the God of my experience. Not that I shouldn't HAVE an evangelism plan. I would desperately LOVE if I could use my story in people lives to tell them the amazing news of what God has done IN ME AND THROUGH ME. But I realize now that even a walking miracle and medical anomaly that my Evangelism plan sounds a lot more like I'm talking about the Easter bunny and all I can say is "Welp, He is real. I shouldn't be here. That's what I know to be true. I wish you could experience that for yourself." I wish that life made a lot more sense. It hasn't for me, and at the end of the day, even with my advanced degrees and religious training, I have a lot more questions than I do answers, and I've had to rest assured that God is OK with my questions. In fact, He is big enough to welcome and encourage them. He made me with these wrestlings and although I WANT answers, I want to know Him more. So I've had to become OK with maybe not getting answers for now, at least in this season, time, or maybe even this life. If someone could explain to me an Evangelism plan using my story that would make sense for others to hear and present them with the Trust in a non-hokey way, that would be awesome. For right now, I have nothing, other than what I've said above and simply loving them in their process of wrestling too and trusting God with the details of everything else. Maybe that's all that we're really meant to do anyway. Sometimes I think we get so focused on "Salvation" and "being in or out" that we miss the point of the relationship altogether, which really should be the point. Maybe all my education was just to remind me that I need to unlearn who I thought was in control and the "neat" formulas of having it all figured out anyway. Life is A LOT more gray than I used to believe, that is for certain.
Love,
Amy Christine