Right on the money

Yesterday was a hard day. I sat on hold for a long time and then finally gave up and just sent them what I needed by mail, drove up to Noblesville (about 20 minutes away) for a meeting that I thought started then but doesn't in fact start until next week, my faxes wouldn't go through at social security at all, my doctors office's lab was closed and I had to get the labs drawn at the hospital and had to wait extremely long but then they forgot one and made me late to meet a friend and I have been late on her already twice this week, and still haven't heard back from any of the places I've interviewed- making me feel extremely inadequate and worried about finances... It was like that "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day" story from our childhood to say the least. And that was just some of the day, the parts that I can recall. I kept looking for a silver lining but none was there to be found. I sat down last night to have my quiet time and just felt like I needed to read from my little devotional book, and was BLOWN AWAY at how spot on the reading was:

I am above all things: your problems, your pain, and the swirling events in this ever-changing world. When you behold My Face, you rise above circumstances and rest with Me in heavenly realms. This is the way of Peace, living in the Light of My Presence. I guarantee that you will always have problems in this life, but they must NOT BECOME YOUR FOCUS. When you feel yourself sinking in the sea of circumstances, say, "Help me, Jesus!" and I will draw you back to me. If you have to say that a thousands of times daily, don't be discouraged. I know your weakness, and I meet you in that very place. [February 8, Jesus Calling, Sarah Young]

I SHOULDN'T be surprised when Jesus speaks directly into my life, but I'm still astonished every time, going- Really? You saw that? You see my needs? You're here with me? In the last few months, I've had every right to throw up my hands in protest and anger and say "Screw it then" or "You've allowed this to happen. Fine. I'm walking away then" And I'm not saying this to then say 'Oh, look, I've made the Holier choice', but I haven't. I haven't walked away, but tried to walk closer with Him, looking for some purpose in it all. I've been really tempted to just walk away, but again, God has surrounded me with great people that have reminded me that this too, will become part of my message. I want that to just begin already, and am tired of the forming process to get where He wants me to be at.

Love,
Amy Christine