Thursday, February 2, 2012

Changes in my feelings of circumstances

Things have changed for me lately. Not necessarily in my actual circumstances, but in my outlook. I've had to come to a place of accepting that this is how things are right now, and though not how I would like them to be, but God has provided things for me, even if things feel financially "tight". I started working at a cupcake shop as a manager, and it's nothing that is going to make me rich overnight, but I get to work with highschool kids and sweets, while being creative. So I'm not using my degree yet- it's only temporary, probably for a few more weeks, but it's a Christian business and hearing Christian music has helped change how I've looked at my circumstances. I started doing the KLove 30 day challenge, where I would only listen to nothing but Christian music for 30 days, and it honestly has made a difference because my mind stays fixated on a line or lyric for hours, so I remain content and repeating scriptures usually all day. I've had several promising interviews, and they all feel like something could happen with each and I would be content serving and working there for awhile.

The middle boy that I live with, Noah, has become one of my favorite people right now, has been doing something that I LOVE. Almost every day, he intentially asks what my high and my low was for the day. He's three. And he's genuinely interested in knowing about those things in my days. Usually, I have to make my language something that is comprehensible to a 3-year-old, but I love that God has uses the questions of a little man to show me that "Amy, I care about you, and this is just one of the ways of how." I love that Noah has this super sweet heart that already just caring to nurture and be present with people. That's one of my favorite things about him. And his giggle. Really, the entire Clark family has become this huge blessing to me as I restructure my life here in Indiana, finding new doctors, applying and interviewing for jobs, beginning to get plugged into and involved at my church, and finding my niche here in Indianapolis. My circumstances may not have changed, but my outlook and attitude towards things that are going has. I'm taking a pro-active approach to actively making my life here the best it can be with what I have right now. I'm surrounding myself with some fantastic people that lift me up and encourage me- with church, with work and leads, with doctors and my various tests (within a week I've had an EEG, a CT scan, and an MRI of my head for my massive migraines- I should get some results tomorrow when I go in. I've gone in to the ER twice this week already, and I'm now on steroids and getting trigger point injections tomorrow.) Taking charge of my life and independence for how I want my life to look here in Indianapolis while I am here, for however long that may be. Although I would love to have a full-time job already, I realize with one, I wouldn't be able to go to the ER or BMV or the other various errands that I've had to do in the last few weeks. Social Security Disability, Medicare, and now Medicaid have been beyond confusing, but sure have been a blessing to not have to be too stressed about some of my bills being paid. God has provided. And for that, I am grateful.
Love,
Amy Christine

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