I am so on a high right now. I was pretty sure that I felt like God had said to me, once I returned to school, that He would still use the degree in Counseling and my stroke to talk with others who have been affected by a medical event that TOTALLY changes the trajectory of where they thought their lives were headed. You've all heard me RANT about 'and I've had to deal with ___ too' (which, I'm sure, is riveting reading on my blog!) Lately, I've had a LOT of depressing and sad news, which partly comes with my seasonal depression, constant pains, PTSD symptoms that flare with no warning, and living with a TBI. I know most people can't relate to one of those events, and I've just accepted that. Dealing with all of them... yeah, it's unique, and I get that. One of my Shifts at work (who's also a pastor) made a comment the other night that was so poignant 'There must be something that really threatens Satan about you to attack you this hard' I'm still not sure what that is... but I REFUSE to let Satan win any more of my story. It will be used for God's glory. It's all His doing anyway.
However, I've had several interesting job leads lately, and I had 2 today and 1 again tomorrow. They couldn't be for more different jobs- a local missions organization, an organization that work with the disabled, and a financial planning firm as a recruiter. I totally could see myself continuing to do "traditional" ministry with the missions organization, and tomorrow I interview with a financial firm to become a recruiter (a left field opportunity that I NEVER considered for myself!?). Today however, it seemed as though the very things that I have become passionate about and want to combine about who I am now, my degree, and wanting to be an advocate on behalf of others... I wanted to cry after the interview in joy. Could this really be why I moved to Indianapolis? Why the stroke was allowed in my life? Why I've been a complete medical anomaly to anyone in the medical community who looks at my history? I know no matter where I work I can be used, and God will continue to provide for me (He's been so good and faithful to me and I feel like I have so little to give!) But right now, I'm just pumped with dreaming about the future. Sometimes all we need is inspiration to dream about a life not at all like the one we are currently living.
Yes, I know working with others with disabilities will bring up my own recovery steps, but hopefully I can be a sounding board for their struggles and find them something meaningful to apply themselves to. I've been working out again and diving into the Word... and it's amazing the clarity that comes with learning to take care of yourself. I can love others better when I'm not focused on me, my own personal set-backs, how I would like things to be different, etc. The ability to dream again. I'm in love with the anticipation and hope that comes on the cliff of expectation of something new.
Love,
Amy Christine
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