My fabulous roommate Erin had posters up for my birthday, coffee cake with a candle, her son Noah (3) sang 'happy birthday', I danced with Laney- her 14 month old, and she gave me a devotional (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young) that I've stolen several times and has been on track every single time. She has been a fantastic friend to me since I have moved- the entire Clark family has been really. So this is what I read this morning, and it was a little too real right now:
December 30: I am leading you along a way that is uniquely right for you. The closer to Me you grow, the more fully you become your true self- the one I designed you to be. Because you are one of a kind, the path are traveling with Me diverges increasingly from that of other people. However, in My mysterious wisdom and ways, I enable you to follow this solitary path in close contact with others. In fact, the more completely you devote yourself to Me, the More freely you can love people.
Marvel at the beauty of a life intertwined with My Presence. Rejoice as we journey together in intimate communion. Enjoy the adventure of finding yourself through losing yourself in Me.
There is SO MUCH that I could be angry at God for that has happened to me, and as I look back, I see those places where I could have given up and said "Um, for allowing that in my life, I'm out now" I refuse to be bitter about where I'm at. Maybe that's my stubbornness. Maybe it's my German blood. I know it's the determination that gave me the drive and determination for getting back most of what I've gained back from the stroke, and done what the medical staff said I would never accomplish.
When I was still in college, I had life at 31 pegged MUCH differently. I'd be living in the south, married to a Youth Pastor, raising 3 boys, driving an SUV, maybe working part-time and going on short-term missions trips. Instead, I have my Masters degree in counseling but I'm unemployed, have a heart for other medical anomalies, live with a fantastic family but am still single, have crazy health complications with no answers but I'm refusing to give up hope yet. I have an amazing church and fabulous small group full of awesome people that I am pumped to get to know better... Life is not what I had hoped for and yet, so much more so. I'm going to live each day to the fullest, and one thing that the stroke and seizure taught me is that life is precious and to live each day to the fullest because you don't know what tomorrow will bring. And those are my birthday reflections for 31 :)
Love,
Amy Christine
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