Stand Beside Me

For the second night in a row, I'm writing a blog posted instead of attending to my paper which is due on Wednesday. I've always been a procrastinator, but this paper is just not coming together for me. Eh well. I was cleaning today and listening to country music, which has always spoken to my soul. I love it. Anywhoo, the song "Stand Beside Me" by Jo Dee Messina came on, and tonight it really rang true within me. My roommate and I were talking earlier about still being single in our late twenties (my birthday will be right after Christmas and I won't be able to say that anymore, so I am for as long as I can!) Here are the Lyrics:

He left me cryin' late one Sunday night outside of Boulder
He said he had to find himself out on the road
I guess when love goes wrong
You've gotta learn to be strong

So I worked two jobs
And I moved three times
I ended up south of Memphis, workin' down in Riverside
I may not be so lucky in love
But the one thing I'm sure of

I want a man that stands beside me
Not in front of or behind me
Give me two arms that want to hold me, not own me
And I'll give all the love in my heart
Stand beside me
Be true, don't tell lies to me
I'm not lookin' for a fantasy
I want a man that who stands beside me

I didn't expect to see him, one hot July morning
His hair was longer but his eyes were the same old blue
He said, "I've missed you for so long. Oh baby, what can I do?"
I said, "I want a man that stands beside me
Not in front of or behind me
Give me two arms that want to hold me, not own me
And I'll give all the love in my heart."

It's hard to
Tell him, "No" when I want him so bad
But I've got to be true to my heart
This time

I'm not lookin' for a fantasy
I want a man who stands beside me
I want a man
Who stands beside me

Stand beside me........
Stand beside me........

I just want a man to stand beside me. Not in front of or behind me, like some of my Ex's have done, and obviously, it didn't work out. I've had my heart ripped out and trampled on, and I don't want to live from that fear or hesitations anymore. I don't have huge expectations for him, but I want him to journey with me through life. The ups and downs. Do it together. Being single has allowed me to do some pretty awesome things, like travel to Africa and Japan, plant a church in Boulder because I felt like it was the next thing for me to do, and go to graduate school. If I had had someone by my side, I may not have been able to do those things. And I'm thankful that I have had the chance to do them all. Seeing how hard having a stroke and recovering has been on a good friend of mine and her family has made me appreciate that he hasn't been here yet. Yet, I think I'm becoming more ready. And that scares me. I have plenty of beautiful friends who have gotten married later in life and their spouses are spectacular. That gives me hope. I don't know where he is, but I'm getting the feeling it will be quick and I will be caught off guard. There are a lot of things that have caught me off guard in the last two years. And I'm becoming more ok with that ambiguity and life lived between the lines. So wherever he is, I want you to stand beside me. I'll keep praying for you in the meantime.
Love,
Amy Christine