Like a wind-up toy

Jolene (my counselor) made a GREAT analogy on Tuesday (in case you haven't noticed by my mentioning of her on here, I like her. A lot. She's been a GOD SEND) She said Graduate school (specifically here at Seminary) is a lot like a wind-up toy. We sit in classrooms and listen to lectures and get wound up some. We attend chapels and listens to some great preaching, and continue to get wound-up some more. We read books- more winding. We write papers- more winding. We study for and take comprehensive exams, and get wound-up some more. We do all this work and put all this money into a piece of paper or a plaque on our walls that says that we're "competent" to be doing what we're doing, and even then, we could get sued (thank you ethics class). Just because we want to help others or we felt "called" into this. 43 days from now, I'm going to walk across a stage and get my MA in counseling. Never have I worked so hard at something. I know I've said that a lot, but seriously, the nights, the tears, the hours, the books, the money, 4 YEARS of my life gone to get a degree to help others because I know what it is to hurt too. It may be a different population that I want to work with now from what I originally intended when I started the program, but I believe God in His providence knew what was going to happen and had that all lined up for a purpose. I don't need an MA in counseling to prove that I know what it is to hurt, but to apply for jobs come this summer in Indy, I will. I'm scared to death. 4 years of winding up and I'm about to be let free. I haven't known "freedom" since George W. was in office, and even then, I don't think I really knew what I had.

Some of you already know and have walked with me through the decision to say yes when they asked, but the Seminary asked if they could do a mini-documentary on my story of recovery. I'm terrified. I hate talking about myself. It's probably one of the leading reasons that I'll probably just elope. Just saying. Anywhoo. So they asked if I would share my story of what God has done in my life in the last two years. After some prayer and counsel, I said yes. I felt like God had been pushing me to share my story for awhile anyway. No idea what that meant, and then this came up. I think they are related. God is good. So the "shoot" date keeps getting moved back, but right now it's looking like the end of April, and they have already interviewed one of my doctors. It will also probably consist of my Mom, another doctor, one of my really close friends and possibly a few more, and I've asked a few of the nurses but they have yet to get back to me yet. So it will probably be three minutes of interviews of those people who were there in the thick of it for those intense few months and myself.

Last night I saw a trailer for the movie "Music Within" about a Vietnam Vet who became deaf in the war and ended up changing congress and governmental agencies to hire the disabled and not discriminate... and I feel like that might be what God might be stirring in me right now. I might not "look" like I have a disability even, but I can be a voice for those who can not speak up for themselves with my education. Maybe that is what my degree is for. Anyways, excited to see this movie, make this documentary for the school, and learn to unwind. 43 days. Finished the draft of a paper that I will get to turn in for real on Monday. So now back to reading. And for a change, back to Ethics, since I haven't done that in over a week.
Love,
Amy Christine